Thursday, December 25, 2008

A heartbreaking story

Adoption fight over 6 month old baby

Although I understand the reasons the ICWA was passed, cases such as this break my heart.

Just before Emme came, I had a daughter for six months, before a paternal grandmother obtained custody after mistakes were made in the beginning of the case. Six months to bond with and love a tiny infant. She was very small, and very sick, and we loved her and cared for her and got her through so many health hurdles. Documentation was missed in the first days following her birth (when the grandmother stated clearly that she did not want custody) and an agency in Sacramento decided that there were definite problems in the case. Our local social service agency decided not to fight it due to financial constraints, and we decided to put it in God's hands rather than hire an attorney and begin a long and heartbreaking fight.

We tried to visit with her a few times, but it was obviously very upsetting to Jake, who was only 2 1/2. After much soul-searching, we all decided it was best to stop contact. She was bonding well with her grandma. My (now) ex-husband was very depressed and wouldn't see her at all. I was a wreck for days after each visit, and so was Jake. We walked away, trusting in God to be in control. I pray for her every day.

Soon after, we received the wonderful news that Emme would be moving in with us.

During the time we waited for Emme's adoption to be final, we were on pins and needles the entire time - nearly two years...waiting for a Cherokee tribe in Oklahoma to give us their decision. Letters were lost, forms were unsigned and re-signed and mailed again, and lost again. The day we found we would be able to complete her adoption was a joyous one indeed.

My heart goes out to everyone involved in this case - the birth mother, the adoptive parents, and the little boy in the middle.

1 comment:

Vodka Mom said...

That's a sad, sad story- but with a happy ending for you.

My heart DOES go out to all people who this happens to. Merry Christmas!