Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Hi, my name is Annie, and I'm

Quietly going out of my mind. Or not so quietly.

Back off if you think I'm slamming or making fun of mental illness. Believe me, I'm a good friend of the family. I have friends and family suffering from everything from ADHD (yes, it's classified as a mental illness), bipolar syndrome, schizophrenia. And that's on a good day.

Whatever. You take your insulin, my son will take his meds, ok?

I haven't been blogging much because I've been under SO. MUCH. STRESS. And I feel like a real weenie for saying this. I feel awful.

I follow Christ. I truly believe that I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. I get it. I really do.

And I haven't had child or a spouse die. That would truly be the worst.

But I've got a lot of cr*p going on right now. Everything from an unemployed ex, to a son AND daughter who may have serious health problems (besides their regular, garden-variety ADHD.)

Birthparents that won't leave us alone.

A month-long bout with asthma that required lots of steroids that MAKE ME WANT TO SCREAM AT EVERYONE!

$1,000 dental bill that my insurance denied. Did I mention I just had to get new tires and register my car the same week?

I now do the work of two people - literally - in fewer hours. At least I have a job. But I want to cry every time I look at my desk, when what I should be doing is slogging through the stacks of paperwork.

All of it is taking its toll. I haven't been blogging. I haven't been sleeping. I gained too much weight.

But I'm turning this around. Right now. I finally dropped 4 pounds (yay!). I got something from the doctor to help me sleep. And I'm relying on God, and not myself.

There, I feel better now.

Uh, I'm not doing ANY chores tonight. The d*mn house can wait.

I can't believe I'm swearing so much! It's cathartic. Pardon me while I go swear at the dog....

1 comment:

Kathy said...

Goodness! What a heavy plate! Find something to do each week for YOU. If you don't take care of yourself . . . well ya know! Whether it's a great church sermon, a time to walk for a hour (help with the weight)(this one gets my vote), or join a club (one that don't cost). YOU NEED TO REFUEL to survive. Keep in mind, even GOD needed a day of rest each week. It will help you be the best you can be the rest of the week.