I have a friend (yeah, yeah, I have lots of friends, but I'm not talking about them here & now). I've known her since my divorce - met her at belly dance class. She seemed so....together, when I was so....falling apart. I was trying to do something for me, after sublimating for too long. Something that would make me feel like a woman. (Nothing like someone you've loved for 11 years looking you in the eye and telling you that you are not attractive to make you feel like worm poop). Women have been doing this for years, dancing more for each other.....some people think the dance form is vulgar, and it can be, but it's not meant to. Anyway, I loved it - and I love balancing a sword on my head.
Back on track: this woman has helped lots of people. She's kind, and funny, and talented. She goes off on tangents now and then, but we all have our quirks. A couple years ago she was terrified of avian flu, and was CONVINCED she and her family would be heading for the hills at any moment, when the worldwide pandemic hit Redding. She stockpiled food, and researched places to go.
Now, I spent my high school years with foster parents who just happened to be LDS. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Mormons. Yeah. Anything you want to know? Just ask me. We stored food. All the time - one to two years worth. Partly in case of WORLD WAR, and partly, just because it's a good idea. You never know when someone is going to get sick, or lose a job, and just knowing that you have 200 lbs. of wheat and rice is so comforting. After all, those CARBS will soothe the depression of knowing the world is coming to an end, right? I actually know how to make hard tack, and fruit leather, and jerky, because they keep well. Living in a house with upwards of 20 people, and the amount of food we needed just to get through a day, with food storage on top of this meant that we had food EVERYWHERE. A huge pantry, as big as my kitchen is now. Food under beds, and in closets. In the storage shed.
So I really didn't think that was so weird.
But now she's posted a bulletin on MySpace that reads,
"I am plann
A well regul
Now, I think the Constitution is a wonderful thing.
But, forgive me. Maybe I seem cold and callous, but if something were to happen that required me to shoot someone to feed me and my kids, I would rather starve. Yes, you really read that. I've shot guns before - it's rather fun. But to shoot a person? I couldn't do it. EVEN IF MY CHILDREN AND I DIED BECAUSE I WOULDN'T SHOOT SOMEONE.
Maybe it's because I'm not afraid of what comes after this life. Maybe it's because I've seen too many people die. Maybe it's because I would forever feel guilty and ashamed. Maybe I'd wonder if that other person didn't need my stuff more than I did. Maybe it's because I'm too busy trying to live my life, and raise my kids, and do my small insignificant part to try and make this a better place. A kinder place. A more welcoming and loving place. I don't do it well, but I can try.