Hack this

I'm a flirt. Nothing but a flirt...I flirt with this diet and that diet. I was a vegan for seven years, with a few two weeks cycles of that since (that's all I have to do to remember it doesn't work for me). South Beach, 17-Day, Omega...you name it, I've read about it. And probably failed at it. This is where I find myself today: Overweight. Arthritic. Asthmatic. Still cute, funny, and smart, but those things are harder to keep up these days.

I've done the research. Unending research. Everything conflicting. But I keep coming back to two major theories: there are a lot of fat-free vegans who have "cured" themselves of issues like mine. But I know that doesn't work for me. I'm hungry all the time, which equates to cranky. My skin and hair are dry. My stomach hurts. I don't sleep well. And then..there are the Paleos/Primals/Ancestral Eaters. I've tried that, too. But haven't quite found the right style. So now I will try this...the "21-Day Paleo Cleanse." Have to love it...the author knows how to use a hyphen, right? And 21 days is doable. I did the 21-Day Sugar Detox a while back. Felt pretty good, too...but it wasn't quite right. Neely Quinn, the author of the e-book, calls this "A step-by-step guide for people with auto-immune diseases, food allergies, and gut health problems to reduce inflammation, reverse symptoms and lose weight." How can you argue with that? So, here are the rules:

No:
Grains
Beans
Refined sugar
Dairy
Vegetable oils
Artificial additives and preservatives
Caffeine (what? Wait a minute, here...did I really sign up for this???)
Sweeteners (artificial and natural)
Nuts and seeds
Nightshades (tomatoes, eggplants, etc.)
Eggs
Alcohol
Dairy

And this leaves me with..what? Styrofoam?

Meat
Seafood
Fish
Veggies
Fruits
Good fats

Thank heaven I went to Johnny Garlic's yesterday. That pretzel bun and those garlic fries will carry me for
the next three weeks. Tune in tomorrow to see how it goes. Tweet