Families

I really should go mop my bathroom right now....but, it's NaBloPoMo, and I'm not giving up now...even though truthfully I've missed a few days.

Busy, busy weekend....aren't they all these days? Friday night was a meeting to discuss the affairs of my friend Heide. Did you grow up in Redding? Were you in 5th grade anytime in the last 20 years or so? Then you may know her. She's been the principal/director at Whiskeytown Environmental School for over 20 years. She's amazing woman, an amazing mother. She's the adoptive mom of two beautiful and charming young ladies...HannaMae and Badaboo.

And she has metastatic breast cancer. It's been a devastating journey to travel with her. She hasn't any family locally, except for those of us that have chosen to be family. During the early days of her cancer, we rotated sleeping at her house, caring for the girls, making meals, running errands, while she underwent chemo and radiation.

These days, she's been in a convalescent hospital...so loving families have welcomed the girls, while others have been tempting her with food made at home.

Today she was admitted to a local hospital. She's a fighter.

What amazes me is the unwavering support of this group of people, all of whom have been touched by her.

Saturday started with Jake's championship hockey game. His team came in second in the 8 & unders. He is one rockin' goalie...the toughest position of all. He's a great goalie - the other team made 18 attempts - 18! and they only scored 5 goals...he blocked 13 goals. I'm so very proud of him.

Then I brought soup & brownies to MSM, helped with cups of apple cider, and had the fun of circulating through the dozens who were there to eat and get clothes. They have so many stories, and they were so appreciative. It's something I don't think I'd get tired of doing.

Last night we took dinner over to Randy Miller. I wrote a bit last night, and I've blogged about him before, but if you haven't learned who he is - you really should. He's amazingly talented, and he's a great dad, and awesome husband to Kristyn Miller. He's recently been diagnosed with a rare cancer and has no medical insurance. It's pretty scary for everyone who knows them.

They have incredible friends.....there are musicians doing benefit concerts and taking offerings during other concerts. But they can use your help, too.

Please, please, please, visit their website and read about this. Donate if you can. Come on, even if it's just $5. This is a great family, and they could really use your help. And they are incredible appreciative.

Family Braggin'

I subscribe to Google alerts. It's a fun thing I do to learn more about my family. Thanks to these alerts, I found my aunt & uncle's tablecloth in a museum and some other really cool stuff.

Today in my inbox I found a great article about my father in the New York Times.

Yes, my father lived in tzarist Russia. Yes, he arrived in the US in 1926. No, I'm not 90 years old. My father was 68 when I was born. Awesome! My mom was 39....they married when she was 25 and he was 54. They met in Los Angeles, at the Trocodero. I've been told that the Daily Variety had an article the next day, as my father stood up and said - in his loud, Russian voice, "My heart is on fire." Truly a great love story.

The picture above was taken before I was born. The little imp on the left is my brother, Bill. He was 16 when I was born. this is what he looks like now: The other boy, gazing lovingly at my mom, was my brother, Tony. He died in 1991 of bone cancer. He was 19 when I was born! At the hospital, the nurses thought HE was my father!

Thanks to the internet, I've learned more about my wonderful, unusual family.

We are Family

So, Sunday night Nate was talking about family. This hits me hard. Family has always been - well, foreign to me.

Both my parents came to this country before I was born....my mother with her parents and younger sister, all of whom died before I was born. My father came over with his first wife and daughter (his wife died when my half-sister Victoria was 15). His two brothers and a sister all joined him here - Uncle Costia in Los Angeles, where he was music director for RKO (not far from my dad's work at Columbia), Aunt Nadia taught voice in LA, and Uncle Vladya and Aunt Julia ended up in Pittsburgh, where he headed the symphony orchestra. But close they were not.

My father died when I was two. My mother remarried a man who was a wonderful father to me when I was four.

And then when I was ten, my mother died. I've dealt with the outcomes and emotions from this all my life. Hope Edelman even interviewed me for her book, "Motherless Mothers." If you're a woman, and you lost your mom during the years your personality is still forming, it effects you in profound ways.

Unfortunately, my stepfather didn't deal well with this loss, and drank himself to death in about three years. I ended up in foster care, as an OWNAO (pronounced O-NOW). Orphaned with no adult relatives. Not really true. I had two half-brothers from my mother's first marriage who were both adults, and my half-sister, Victoria. But due to strained relations between my stepfather and all of them, I hadn't seen any of them in years.

We did later reunite - but my brother Tony died in 1991 and my sister in 1994.

When I adopted my wonderful kids, I really had no idea if I knew how to be a mother. I know that lots of women feel this way, but it was almost paralyzing to me. Okay, maybe I could mother them when they are little, but what about after they are 10? I don't even have an example.

But I do.

The women that have mothered me along the way (even though some are younger than I) have taught me so much. And I am surrounded by friends that have become family to me. And God leads me, and comforts me, and loves me.

So maybe I can extend my arms and do some more mothering. I've mothered my stepdaughter Jeni since she was 14 (25 now, and on her own in San Francisco). But maybe there's a Life Group that needs a mother. I'm doing okay with the munchkins. And I still have time and love to mother more.....

Anyone at the Stirring need a good home-cooked meal????