Happy birthday, Uncle Costia!

Wow. Love those Google alerts. Reminded me that today would be my Uncle Costia's birthday. His 110th.

Love this picture, though.

I'm in real trouble

So, I'm reading this amazing book by Shane Claiborne. A couple Sundays ago, Nate recommended his books. Now I'm reading "The Irresistible Revolution." It's good. Boy, that sounds half-baked. But nothing I can say would really express how much this books catches me. Takes hold of me. Throws me on the floor and says, "WHAT. HAVE. YOU. BEEN. DOING. ALL. YOUR. LIFE?"

As Shane says, it's a lot like CPR. You can learn it, and you can believe it works, but you have to do it. If someone has a heart attack, you can't just stand there and tell them that CPR will save their life - believing it doesn't make it so. You have to get down on the ground and do it.

Having kids is amazing and wonderful, but because of them, there are things I want to do that will have to wait.

Until then, I'll do what I can - performing CPR from a distance, if you will. So I've sat in a tent at the Convention Center and recorded videos for the children of Darfur. I've hosted the African Childrens' Choir members in my home (I'll never forget the night I stayed up until 3:00 a.m. talking with the chaperone - her views on singleness and serving were shocking to me then but make more sense as time goes by). I've taken shoes to some wonderful kids. Heck, I adopted some wonderful kids. I'm always sharing a couple bucks with the folks I see around town - I don't care what they use the money for, I just love to spend a few minutes listening to them. I do listen well.

I've always known this, but now I KNOW THIS. Make sense? No, I know. Never mind. I'll shut up now. If you want to know more, read the book.

Today started out as one of those days. Gloomy outside and in. The kids were sleeping. I got up and fed the dog & the cat, and started my coffee.

After my shower, I was drying my hair and reading. One of the weird things I do. I aim the blow dryer at my head with one hand, and turn pages with the other. I'm reading "The Irrestistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne. I started crying - the beauty of his words and his work, moved me to tears. This is a book that will change my life.

The kids got up. They dawdled. They complained - okay, just Emme. She wants to wear this skirt, but it doesn't have pockets. She wants to wear this shirt, but I won't let her.

Driving to work, I just felt overwhelmed. I know so many people have it so much harder, but it's not easy being a single mom. Yes, their dad is involved, and I'm thankful, but I hate the fact that my son doesn't have a strong man of God to lead him at home. What I do just doesn't seem but a shadow of what he needs.

But Jake gave me the biggest hug ever when I dropped him off today. And I got to work and two drug reps had brought in breakfast treats for us. And one of the Medical Assistants asked if I was okay and gave me a hug. And my neighbor is in the paper.

I'm so blessed to have Justin as a neighbor. He was right there my first day in the complex to offer to help. He's helped me lug in groceries, loaned me extension cords, and his shop-vac. He's always got a smile, and is always willing to help anyone. The work he does is amazing, and not many people can do it. The article is actually a tribute to his employer, but I think it shows the pride he takes in his work.

So, today is looking up.

Life changes in an instant

This morning I'd promised a coworker I'd help her move. We were up bright and early. The day was beautiful. Though it didn't feel that cold, it must have been, as there was hail, and a bit of snow. And the sun was shining.

Then we heard. Another coworker had traveled to southern California to visit family - to celebrate a big birthday. Her husband was excited to ride down there - he's a bicycle maniac. There was an accident - the details are still fuzzy, but he was hurt yesterday, and died last night. They are about my age. They had one of the best marriages I've seen...their kids are grown, and they were so close, as many couples whose kids have left the nest are.

I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. I've called a few friends, to tell them how much I love and appreciate them. Times like these make us realize the fragility of life.

I know I need the Stirring tonight, but I don't know that we'll make it.

Yesterday was so much fun. Okay, I'm not a car buff. My interest in cars stops when they do. But Kool April Nites is a BIG.BIG.DEAL. here in Redding.

My first April in Redding, John and I went to Applebee's for dinner the night of the cruise. Don't ask me how we did it, but we ended up with a booth right by the windows, and watched the whole thing in perfect comfort. And for me, perfect boredom.

Zip forward many years - Kool April Nites became a reason to stay home and off the roads. And then, I had a son who is a car nut. He takes after my big brother, Billy that way. Bill used to have a '55 1/2 Thunderbird. He had one of those funny little BMWs with the door IN THE FRONT WHERE THE ENGINE IS SUPPOSED TO BE! He now has probably 1,500 toy cars. Okay, not exactly toy cars. They are 1:18 scale models. People send them to him. He reviews them. My son thinks this is the COOLEST. JOB. EVER.

So last year, we braved the crowds for the cruise. I have to admit, it was pretty fun. Fun in that way that Rodeo Week is fun, even if you're not really into rodeos. There is something about an event like these that makes Redding still feel small. It makes me feel like Laura, in her Little House series. Everyone is happy, and smiling, and talking to people they don't know. Buying treats, and sitting in the sunshine, and just enjoying the moment.

When I learned the shopping center I work in was having a big blow-out for Kool April Nites, and they welcomed non-profits selling goodies, I called up our school's Parent Club. There were some hiccups, but we had a booth right on Churn Creek Road selling cotton candy, popcorn, water, juice, and other snacks (too many to list).

We started setting up about 1:00 p.m. There were gymnastic demonstrations, martial arts demonstrations, and a bunch of guys riding little motorcycles doing amazing tricks. A great band called weR1 - part of Redding Transformation. I made friends with the folks in the booth next to ours - they were from Destiny Fellowship in Anderson, and they were selling nachos. We bonded over a generator.

And amazingly, I learned that a fellow mom and I both used to live in Sonoma County, and have a mutual friend!

And I have advice for everyone I know. RENT A COTTON CANDY MACHINE! It is amazingly fun. This thing takes a bit of colored, flavored sugar and turns it into a thing of mystery. It's fun to figure out the best technique (we were all cotton candy virgins, and the thing didn't come with instructions). It's fun to see the faces of kids when they see the fluffy, sweet stuff. It's fun to laugh and pick strands of sugar off each other's hair. And then you put a bit of it in your mouth, and it's light and fluffy and crackly and melty and sweet and wonderful.

From 60 to 0 - in under 60 seconds

That's how quickly things can change.

My dearest friend is soon to be a grandmother. I remember her daughter's wedding just last year, in early fall - the young couple so full of hope and love. They have wonderful dreams for their future. Within a month, she was pregnant, and they were sooooo excited.

Then came the sonogram that showed a serious, but treatable, birth defect. No doctors in Redding would touch her. But there are wonderful doctors at UC Davis, and the defect can be corrected shortly after birth. Okay, maybe he'll be in the hospital for a few months, but the outcome looks good.

Until today. Another sonogram. Another defect, not even related to the first. One that, when combined with other structural malformations (see above) very often, most often, has an adverse prognosis. And an unthinking tech, who said the unthinkable, "Too bad it's too late to abort."

This mom-to-be has shown such strength and love for her child. This is one of those times that I have to ask - why does this have to happen? I know they love this baby so much. I know that God will comfort them. I know that it's at times like this - when things are about as awful as you can imagine - that's God's compassion is shown. I know with all my heart that God can work anything that happens for His good. But sometimes it's hard to see what you know. It's hard to say the right thing. Is there a right thing?

So I'll do the only things I know how. I'll take them dinner tonight. And I'll pray. And I'll cry with them, if that's what they need. And I'll even question God, because I know He's big enough to take it.

Shoe shopping!

I had so much fun tonight. My new life group gifted a bunch of wonderful children with new shoes. I have a feeling that some of these kids have NEVER had a new pair of shoes before. What a wonderful time we had. Those beautiful kids gifted us with amazing smiles, thanks, and even some hugs.

My family has been blessed. We have a warm and cozy home with terrific neighbors. I have a bathtub. I have a full kitchen. My cupboards are full of food that I can easily prepare. It never dawned on me until tonight just how much the folks that must live in motels must miss. I can choose which room to watch my favorite TV programs in. I can use my microwave, my BBQ, my oven, my lovely gas stove. Laundry? Two steps out my garage door. My kids need new clothes? Maybe I can't afford designer labels, but I can run to any nearby store and buy them a couple new outfits.

Birthday? My kids have a party. Sick? The doctor is always available, and I can afford the copay.

Thanks, Chris, for organizing this. I know I got a bigger gift than those kids did tonight.